Ugh, running.

I've probably told most of you my theory on running: i.e., that one should only run if chased. But recently I've questioned whether it might be beneficial for me to work on becoming a runner (imagine a James Earl Jones voice-over there), simply because (a) it seems like a faster way to get my mileage in (vs. walking), and (b) I can certainly use the extra cardio push (when I'm in yoga classes, for example, I'm motivated by the teacher to push myself harder, but now that we're saving money and I'm exercising on my own, I find I'm more content to stroll than to power walk, and more likely to do some easy warrior poses than to push through some fast ashtanga/vinyasa sequences). So enter the alternative: running. For me, there is just absolutely no possibility of allowing myself to slack off when I'm running, and I'm all for getting a workout over as quickly as possible. Thus, enter: "Steph's get-in-shape plan for 2009"

Some of you may remember the Turkey Trot I did last year. I was soooo proud to have accomplished my new year's resolution. The problem was that I didn't stick with it! It's really hard to run outside in Minnesota in the winter, I hate the treadmill, and my doctor told me not to run while I was pregnant (my heartrate gets too high, since running so hard for me!). So, after the Turkey Trot I resumed my half-hearted solo exercise routine, which was, perhaps unsurprisingly, quite ineffective in counteracting all the yummy holiday goodies of which I partook. Clearly, it was time for Plan B.

I see now that, in a way, the miscarriage carried a small (very small!) silver lining, in that now I have the time, energy, and inclination to really focus on myself. First it was all about school, then all about licensure, then all about the new job. Now I'm ready to be "all about me" (i.e., my own health), so I'm declaring this to be "Steph's get-active-and-get-in-shape Time!"

Part of the problem, though, is that my inner vision of myself simply does not match the reality. In my head, I already look (and run) like this:

So, when I actually do go out to try to run, it's a rude awakening when I look and feel more like this:

It was serendipitous, then, that I happened across this article by John Bingham. I love his description:
John Lennon may have been the Walrus, but I am the Penguin. I am the runner you've seen whose legs look as if they are tied together at the knees. I am the runner whose stride is the same as his shoe length. And I am not alone.

Why a penguin? Because metaphors usually used to describe runners — fleet-footed gazelles, cheetahs and winged-footed Mercury — don't have much to do with my running style. I tend to resemble a penguin waddling across the frozen tundra more than a thoroughbred in the homestretch.

If you've seen a penguin run or walk, you know what I mean. Penguins walk as if their feet are killing them. Penguins, waddling and scurrying, are the ultimate expression of will over form. Their feet move as fast as possible, but their bodies are barely propelled forward at all.

And that's how I finally got over my fear of running in public (truly, I worried that the "real" runners would be snickering at my sorry attempt to jog) - I decided to just embrace my inner penguin! Rather than curse the fact that attempting a sub-10-minute mile felt like hell on earth and therefore quitting altogether, I decided to embrace the speed that felt somewhat tolerable, even if it meant "running" more slowly than I can walk. Rather than curse the fact the my lungs burned and my heart raced, and therefore giving up, I decided to embrace the exertion and prove to myself that I could continue. Rather than curse the fact that others would think that it's a bit ridiculous to walk 60 miles in the 3-Day to be intimidated (nay, terrified) at the prospect of running any more than a block at a time, I decided to embrace the fact that at least I'm out there!

So here I am, publicly declaring my intent to be a runner. I signed up for a 5K training clinic to prepare myself for the Heart of Summer 5K. And I intend to find a 10K I can do in the fall, in order to keep myself motivated this time. And my long-term goal (I can't believe I'm stating this publicly!) is to run a half marathon - who knows when, but I'm putting it out there now in order to hold myself accountable. If anyone wants to join me in my journey, even if it's just in spirit, let me know :)