Carleton Chapters

A few weeks ago I was contacted by the Carleton Career Center, asking if I'd like to be a part of their new "Carleton Chapters" program, which is billed as "providing students with access to one-on-one time, group discussion, and a casual and candid interview with Carleton alumni luminaries in many fields." (Yes, you read that right: luminaries. When Carleton thinks of luminaries, they naturally think of me. )  Basically, I would go down to campus for 4 hours (1-5pm) of back-to-back 30-minute sessions with eight current students, giving them an opportunity to learn more about my career paths in psychology.  After laughing about being considered a "luminary," I jumped on the offer. Sure, I thought, sounds like like fun!

I woke up bright and early this morning, eagerly anticipating the afternoon on campus. I dressed with special care, trying to look like an "established, mid-career" psychologist (as I was referred to in my confirmation letter for the program) -- but really I just felt like I was playing dress-up since I usually wear jeans or khakis to work every day now.  :)   I tried to leave work on time, but ended up having a patient in a potential medical crisis so I was several minutes late getting on the road. Great.

I pushed the speed limit as much as I could without risking a speeding ticket, and luckily was only 5 minutes late. That still looks bad, but at least it wasn't any worse.  And thus began my jam-packed, whirlwind afternoon.

The weirdest part was walking through campus to get to the Career Center. I stuck out like a sore thumb - being dressed up and being old and all - but yet I couldn't stop myself from looking around, completely out of habit, as if there was any chance I might see someone I knew. I was so used to running into my friends in Sayles, or checking my mailbox for flowers on Friday afternoon, or looking for party notices outside the post office, that I found myself reflexively doing those things, even though I logically knew it was ridiculous.

Then it was time to actually meet the students. They were so impressive! They asked such great questions and were so bright and articulate and well-informed.  I started wondering if I would have been able to compete with them if was that age again... And yet, at the same time, hearing their questions reminded me of all my own insecurities at that age - the unknown "real world" and all its uncertainties looming closer with each week closer to graduation. As the afternoon progressed, I became happier and more content in my current situation. As much as I loved Carleton and miss it tremendously - particularly having all my dear friends so close by - I love even more to be settled in my career, to have a house and a husband and two cats, and to feel more comfortable in myself and more confident in my own strengths and abilities. 

Luckily I had my "Kickin' It Old School" (thanks, Jess!) CD to listen to on the way home. It was nice to relax to Dar William, G Love and Special Sauce, Cyndi Lauper, Nirvana, Tori Amos, etc. as I transitioned from Carleton back to my own "real world" -- from mourning the loss friends in close proximity to relaxing into my own skin and savoring my current life circumstances.

Cheers to all my college friends - especially those I see so rarely but yet think about so often. I miss you all!