TBI

I read two books this weekend: I am the Central Park Jogger and A Three Dog Life. Both were read in an attempt to desensitize myself to traumatic brain injury (TBI). At my job/postdoc, I've learned so much about the medical and psychological sides of TBI - more so than about any other type of injury I've ever worked with. Yet, I've experienced more vicarious traumatization from TBI than I have from any other medical condition (burns, severe ortho injuries, amputations, etc.).

Why is that?

Is it because it challenges my "just world belief" (i.e., "bad things happen to bad people") - for someone motorcycling without a helmet, a TBI is "understandable," but there is no understanding a TBI resulting from a drunk driver hitting a defenseless pedestrian, and this lack of understanding scares me? But other injuries can also be "fluke" accidents, and they don't bother me in the same way.

So maybe it's because of my own line of work - my own accomplishments have all occurred in the academic arena; if it weren't for the powers of mind, what would I have to offer the world? If I lost a limb, it would indeed by tragic - but I would cope. What if I lost aspects of my memory, or my ability to concentrate? Or, even more frighteningly, my own personality? It's terrifying. I wonder if this is how individuals I've worked with who had always defined themselves in the physical arena (athletes, manual laborers, etc.) react to loss of their physical functioning following some injury. If so, it gives me a new empathy for their unique situation and the coping it entails.

In the end, I suppose that there's no preparing for the worst. If it happens, I'll cope. But thank heavens that chances are it won't happen.